So, yesterday I gave a normal review to something posted in the PaF section of Fanfiction.net. It wasn't a story that had anything to do with the show, however, so I reviewed it, making note of how it has absolutely no place on the site. It was basically a blog post, the person had put on the site as a fanfiction.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6072263/1/Akiras_story
My review:
Today, I receive an email on my phone. I check it and see a review for "Times Change". It wasn't actually a review, but more a way for the user to contact me, since they clearly didn't know about the PM feature that is specifically meant for it. This, by the way, is the user who the previous story was written for and about, if you hadn't guessed by the names yet.
It really helped me make it through the last two hours of the day; laughed my head off when I read it, which made me thankful that I read it when it was during a break and no one was around; they're not the easiest things to explain, really.
So, me confused, I went to the PaF section of FF.net to see what this "Hot Pinkjelly" had written about me. Turns out the user had written a new story; one that also had nothing to do with the show, yet was posted in the PaF section. It is entitled "Fuck you roy42" and, while not being the same as the aforementioned day-brightener, it's downright hilarious.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6077864/1/Fuck_you_roy42
The post includes my review of the previous story, followed by a short scene in which I appear in the author's room and get decapitated, to put it simply. Really; that's all there is to the 'story'. The author depicts herself reading the story I had reviewed, wishing death upon me for my review and then, as I appear behind her like your average stalker, she chops off my head with her guitar.
If you're wondering, the person who wrote is is apparently a 12 year-old girl, while the person who sent me the previous message is apparently a 13 year old one. Let that sink in for a few seconds. It's not everyday that you get death wishes and flat out insults from two prepubescents that you don't even know.
It's a shame that these people are likely to never come here and read the forums or read anything that I would ever send them, because I would otherwise explain to them how they're misunderstanding the entire scenario. In any case, it's a fun little situation that's come from it and I encourage everyone to read them for a laugh. Course, you might have a different sense of humour than I do, but I still recommend reading them, if only to feel happy for your intelligence.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6072263/1/Akiras_story
My review:
Y'know, I've read some horribly bad stories. I've read some horribly irrelevant stories. I've read stories that flat out insult a character and don't try to hide it. I've read stories that are blog posts that use the characters to try (and fail miserably) to convey a point.
But if you want to write a blog post, start up a f.ucking blog. Don't write a story in the Phineas and Ferb section of this site for something that contains absolutely nothing about the show, characters or setting.
This isn't a story, either; does no one understand what a story is anymore? I see no story of a painful life, nothing that should be astonishing me, surprising me or making me cry. Not like anything can really do those things in fanfiction, but you have written three lines of introductory garbage.
And no, I don't care about your friend or her disease or whatever. Is that because of the way you presented things? Probably; I tend to not give a s.hit when someone can't describe a disease or what kind of hard time a person is supposedly going through, despite the big lavish on how terrible it really is.
This is not a story; it has no place on the Phineas and Ferb section; it has no place on this site; it is against the rules of submission; and even if all of those weren't true, it is so badly written that I pity whoever would be stupid enough to proclaim it as so emotional and great, because they clearly were dropped on their head as a baby for the parents' kicks whenever they got drunk.
You proclaim this as a true story, something to which I reply, "You do know what the very definition of 'fiction' is, don't you?".
Regards,
≈Roy
Today, I receive an email on my phone. I check it and see a review for "Times Change". It wasn't actually a review, but more a way for the user to contact me, since they clearly didn't know about the PM feature that is specifically meant for it. This, by the way, is the user who the previous story was written for and about, if you hadn't guessed by the names yet.
^^ So, you're the ass-hole who Hot Pinkjelly wrote about. You seem like a very
good Author. Oh, everybody praise and worship Roy42, yaddah'yaddah'yaddah'. I
know that's not a real word. What're you going to do?
CRITIZE ME!
Like you do to everybody else. All you are is a cocky-know-it-all. think
you're better than everybody else, eh? They praise you, while you kick dirt
onto their faces because how "terrible" they are. I'd like to say that you are
a very, very terrible person. Very terrible, indeed. You have have a gift,
you're using it, but not in a good way at all. You only write for attention,
and praise, then cast aside the people who you think are unworthy of you. If
The One Called Demetra met you, she would be ashamed. I may not be a
'grammar-geek', but I love to write, and I'm proud of my 'too-many-commas' or
'ain't', or even '(place jibberish word here)'. Because I have directed a play
once, yeah, I have. And soon, you'll be kissing your ass goodbye once you hear
my name on television. You can respond, but, I'd only delete you. You show no
importance to fanfiction anymore, and should be thrown in the garbadge.
Bye-Bye, Roy42.
See you in hell.
~!Akira!~
It really helped me make it through the last two hours of the day; laughed my head off when I read it, which made me thankful that I read it when it was during a break and no one was around; they're not the easiest things to explain, really.
So, me confused, I went to the PaF section of FF.net to see what this "Hot Pinkjelly" had written about me. Turns out the user had written a new story; one that also had nothing to do with the show, yet was posted in the PaF section. It is entitled "Fuck you roy42" and, while not being the same as the aforementioned day-brightener, it's downright hilarious.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6077864/1/Fuck_you_roy42
The post includes my review of the previous story, followed by a short scene in which I appear in the author's room and get decapitated, to put it simply. Really; that's all there is to the 'story'. The author depicts herself reading the story I had reviewed, wishing death upon me for my review and then, as I appear behind her like your average stalker, she chops off my head with her guitar.
If you're wondering, the person who wrote is is apparently a 12 year-old girl, while the person who sent me the previous message is apparently a 13 year old one. Let that sink in for a few seconds. It's not everyday that you get death wishes and flat out insults from two prepubescents that you don't even know.
It's a shame that these people are likely to never come here and read the forums or read anything that I would ever send them, because I would otherwise explain to them how they're misunderstanding the entire scenario. In any case, it's a fun little situation that's come from it and I encourage everyone to read them for a laugh. Course, you might have a different sense of humour than I do, but I still recommend reading them, if only to feel happy for your intelligence.
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